"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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