you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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