Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
