My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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