there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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