last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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