Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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