Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
