Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
