people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
did you just send me my own nude
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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