he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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