before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
