once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
