Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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