Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize