On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Umm I'm too high to move.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you didnt know i had herpes?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize