She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
