one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
