I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
