You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
