why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
