too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize