goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize