she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
