We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
