Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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