I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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