you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
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