They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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