Did you just see the Batmobile???
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
