Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
