I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
so much tequila, so little girl.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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