Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I am one with the molecules
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
