I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
