Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
