Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
