my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize