Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
