Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
