You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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