I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
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