I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
