tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize