??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He better not be in your backpack
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
