i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
