I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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