I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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