Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
