woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
