Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
