oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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