i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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