do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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