we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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