yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
