I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
