i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
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