i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
