yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
