Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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