i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
A bitchslap is in order.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
