Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
