There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
