with your own penis?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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