Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize