If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
