We won't sleep together?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize