Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
