I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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