Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
