How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
