Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
