If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
