she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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