In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
