return my video game
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
