Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
