I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
